“Scholarly musings on morality and matrimony”


I read an article in The Independent about children beating their mothers. I started the article thinking Alhamdulillah, the Muslims [are not like that]. It turned out the kid who was beating the woman was from a Muslim family, his name was Ahmad. His mother was English and his father had been a Muslim who had divorced her and then went and married a Muslim woman and just dumped this kid, who was filled with rage.

This is one of the things that some Muslims men do. They “sow their wild oats” with non-Muslim women  leaving offspring, and then they go find a nice good virgin Muslim wife after they have been messing around. They should be disgusted and ashamed of themselves.  I hope none of those types of people are in this room but there are a lot of them out there, I’ll tell you that much.

The brothers in Liverpool have told me that when they do da’wah they get approached by all these women who have been married to Muslim men coming screaming about what a sick religion Islam is because that was their experience of the Muslim men. Don’t forget that most people judge things by behaviour – people judge religions based upon the actions of the followers of the religion. That’s why Allah warns us to be upright people and examples to humanity:

In this way we have made you a middlemost community so that you may act as witnesses against mankind and the Messenger as a witness against you… [1:143]

How can you be a witness over people if you’re some pathetic example of depravity yourself?

Yawm al-Qiyamah is going to be a frightening day. It’s about time people starting thinking about it and making some muhasabah. We should start reflecting on how we’re spending our days and how we’re treating people. Really.

Financial issues and Matrimony

We know that some of the sahabah married with literally nothing. That is historically documented. People just have to do what they have to do but the best situation is to go in with some stability.

One of the main reasons for marital friction is [the issue of] financial security. The responsibility of men is to maintain the natural state of  sakina that a woman has.

And if you want to get a woman into a disarrayed state then create a restricting financial environment for her, because this is very unnerving for women. We know the Prophet (upon him be peace) kept a years supply of food in his house for his women. That is just a way of them having feel at ease about those matters, because women are concerned about their children and other concerns and people should respond to that.

We also know the hadith of Hind asking if she could steal money from Abu Sufyan!



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